I'm not sure how the best way to tell someone that I'm not interested without hurting their feelings?

It’s always good to be honest as you can hurt someone further by not telling the truth. Plus by telling the truth it can avoid the situation of the other party still having some level of hope in their hearts, so really in the long run it’s kinder. By avoiding the situation this can also lead to further upset as the other person will be conjuring up all sorts of scenarios/meanings of the situation in their minds and as our human minds work it will probably be very negative about them or you.

Saying this there is also a level of respect and kindness that is needed so if the truth is “I think you are really ugly and boring” that would only damage the other person further so it would be more considerate to say “You’re a great person but I just don’t feel that level of connection or attraction with you that I am looking for in a partner”.


This is fair enough as after all we can’t feel attracted to everyone we
meet and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with that person it just means it’s not right between the two of you. Or there might be some good explanation why you are not, such as wanting different things out of life, different views on things important to you, different values, different interested, you might be in a relationship or in love with someone else these are all perfectly good explanations on why you wouldn’t want to be with someone and can’t really cause offence.