How can women work out what is going on in men's heads? For example; I had a date on Sunday, he then waits a week to get in touch, i.e. Saturday, texts at 3pm saying, sorry late notice, but friend blown me out, fancy dinner tonight, or if not, then Monday? I was busy, so we are going to speak probably tomorrow, still waiting for him to phone me, maybe he is too shy to phone, oh I don't know, I just wish I understood them?

I don’t think we will ever be able to work out what is going on in another person’s mind, male or female. It’s pretty impossible to try to work out what is going on in someone’s head, and the danger is that as human beings we try to then attach our own meaning to their behavior. It’s such a common thing to do especially in relationships. I can see you have already started by making his behavior mean that he is too shy to call.

There could be a million and one reasons why he is behaving like he is and the kindest thing to do for yourself is not to try to work it out. We can only take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. So I would suggest asking yourself if you are happy with how he is making you feel. If not then what can you do about it?


For example; could you say something or maybe it might just be worth going on some dates with different people to take your mind off him! Sometimes you just need to train people on how you want to be treated, he will soon learn that you are a busy girl if you have to turn him down when he calls last minute and that he has to book time into see you. If he really likes you he will make the effort. In my 7 step dating strategy report (which you can download for free by signing up to our newsletter from the link on the left) I discuss the importance of having dating standards, what behavior you will and won’t put up with.

If what he is doing is going against your standards then is he really worth your time and energy?

It’s great that you were too busy to see him for his last minute suggestion, it’s not good for men to think you are too available in the early stages and also that they can just call you on the off chance so last minute. If you are too available it can come across as needy or desperate, so fantastic you had to turn him down! At least he was trying to plan for Monday night.....that’s a good sign.

I really recommend these two books by the Sex in the City Write Greg Behrendt; “He’s Just Not That Into You” and “It’s Just A Date” Both are funny but insightful books on to the dating scene!