Successful dating coach Jo Hemming’s writes for the dating portal site meetatlast.com, they have sent us her top tips for a successful first date.....

Why can’t I get beyond the first date?

Firstly, don’t panic. There are some charming rogues out there, who unfortunately apply the same principles to dating as they might to bird watching or train spotting. It ain’t the quality of the dates; it’s the quantity of the dates themselves. They just can’t help moving onto the next ‘challenge’ and it’s the pulling that counts, not the date itself – whether you have been to bed together or not. All very superficial, but there’s a fair few of ‘em out there.


Then again, it may simply be that he didn’t feel that it was worth pursuing after the first date. He may have been shallow enough to reject you on the basis that you didn’t ‘give out’. Or he may simply have felt that it didn’t go that well. Sadly, in this imperfect world, some men think that there is no need to say anything about it. They simply don’t call again and ignore any communication from you.
There is a form of dating etiquette, which varies a little between men and women, and being armed with a few first date ‘rules’ won’t go amiss. And if you follow these, you can reassure yourself that you behaved impeccably and any lack of follow through is simply his loss!
First date do’s and don’ts

Do

• Make eye contact - It’s simple, sexy and very effective in knowing what he might be thinking.
• Make him feel at ease - He might feel pretty nervous too, so try to let him see that you are able to relax and enjoy his company.
• Smile and laugh - It shows that you are interested in him and amused by what he has to say.
• Pay compliments - Don’t go overboard here, but a little flattery goes a long way. Tell him that he’s chosen a terrific venue or that he’s wearing a cool shirt.
• Listen - By listening carefully to what he’s saying, he’ll feel good about himself. You’ll be able to respond in a more interesting way too.
• Flirt gently - You’re on a date and you (hopefully!)fancy him.
• Mention his name at least once - This will help make him feel special.
• Hold a little back… Retaining a little mystique will make him want to see you again and know more.
• Ask him questions about his life - Don’t get too personal here, but chatting about work, his family and friends and his interests are all pretty safe options.
• Exude confidence - A confident, self-assured woman is very sexy.
• Be yourself - He wants to get to know you, not someone you might think he’d prefer. However tempted you are to dress up your life, it’s impossible to maintain for long anyway.
• Say thank you - Yup, just the way mum taught you!

Don’t

• Be late Five minutes is fashionably late. Anymore and it’s bad manners.
• Tell him your life story - It’s rude and vain and no one should open all his or her presents at once!
• Talk about your exes - Definitely not a first date topic of conversation. And don’t ask him about his either.
• Grumble or moan OK so the bar is too hot, the waiters are churlish, but unless he initiates the discussion, don’t go there.
• Keep interrupting his conversation - You may be really keen to make your point, but it’s more polite to hold fire until he’s finished talking.
• Look fed up or over his shoulder - Your concentration should be on him and even if the date is not as good as you were expecting, just be polite.
• Get drunk - He may well try to ply you with booze or your nerves might get the better of you. If you feel yourself on the threshold of getting more than tipsy, switch to mineral water for a while.
• Be sarcastic - Sometimes nerves kick in and make us sarky. It’s not good on a first date and may even appear just plain rude.
• Over-flirt - Unless you’re intending to end the night in the bedroom.
• Forget his name or use a different name Ouch!
• Tease him - Unless you feel really comfortable in his company, it might cause offence on a first date.
• Be too keen - Don’t look desperate, it’s important to keep your cool. If he catches a whiff of babies and settling down, you might not even last through the first date!

Check out meetatlast.com to discover all the dating events in your area!