If you’re in a relationship is it ok to still have a best friend of the opposite sex who you spend your time with…even share beds after long nights out?

Ok, well that’s the million dollar question, can men and women really just be friends? The question to ask yourself here is really in your gut instinct is there any more than feelings of friendship here, either on your side or on his or hers. You might not feel anything romantically inclined at all but deep down you probably would have an intuition if he/she does, even if you don’t want to admit it. Often with close male/female friendships there can be feelings involved at some stage from either party, it would be hard not too if you have lots in common, have fun together and have a great connection. This can be overcome though through honest conversations with each other to clear the air and establish the friendship lines…..that’s if you want just friendship!


Also why do you feel the need to share a bed after a long night out when you are in a relationship with someone else? That kind of closeness is fine when you are single but if it bothers your partner that you are sleeping in bed with someone else then there has to be a bit of give and take. Partners are naturally going to get jealous if you are best friends with a member of the opposite sex so if they can’t cope with you sharing a bed with them too then perhaps you need to think about compromise and consider their feelings in this. If they don’t want you to do it and you still do, then ask yourself why? Why is it so important for you to still do it……are there more feelings there than you are letting on?

It’s perfectly fine to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship as long as you are sure it’s all honest and above board. It can actually be really healthy as we all get different things from different people/ friendships so instead of putting the pressure of getting everything you need on one person you might be getting certain things from your friends that you don’t get in your partner. If you partner really hates it then make sure you include him/her in the friendship, let them become friends too, all go out together, share experiences together that way they have no reason for jealousy. The main thing is to be honest with yourself, are you with the right person; your partner or should it be your friend, and to consider your partners feelings in all of this.

Please contact me for a free coaching session if you would like to explore this further.